Corona Virus - without Us!

Martin Döring, January 23, 2020

Fortunately, we took the appropriate measures in time to be spared from the corona virus, my wife and me. Fortunately, we figured out what was going on as early as December.

I'm writing to you here from our bricked-up basement, and I hope the power supply stays on long enough. Because, honestly, it would be pretty boring if I didn't have you guys in the Fediverse anymore. Please share this article as well, maybe our experiences can save the life of one or the other.

First, we still had some food stored from our prepper days: 20 cans of homemade applesauce, 18 jars of instant pasta sauce, 30 jars of organic jarred mushrooms, just like the 40 protein bars to meet our protein needs. Plus a bag of rice, unfortunately with pest infestation. For now, we decided not to meet our protein needs from rice pests.

We had almost given up on prepping, but now it finally comes, the disaster. At least it wasn't all for nothing!


We have water pipes in the basement, but of course it has to be boiled. We do that with a two-plate electric stove, then when the power supply has broken down, as long as we can with a spirit stove. Honestly, I'd prefer to drink the spirit myself.

Yesterday we had canned mushrooms with pasta sauce. Cold. Pasta sauce actually tastes much better warm, but we want to save energy. Today we're having mushroom applesauce. I thought it would taste gross at first, but it actually works. It's also a welcome change from pasta sauce. Tomorrow we plan to eat only protein bars.


Right now we're also using the basement drain as a toilet. I'll leave out the details. But we've found that washing powder is just too soapy to clean, it makes everything all slippery and then totally crappy accidents just happen. Nevertheless, hygiene is totally important.

In order to kill any viruses that may have entered, we started to inhale methylated spirits for three minutes every day. We did this with my wife's laundry sprayer, which she has always used for ironing. My wife was initially afraid that we might go blind from it, but it's actually all been quite fun so far. Besides, it's pretty dark here anyway. You're not allowed to smoke in the meantime, but we don't anyway. We don't want to survive the pandemic and then die of lung cancer.

Today we ate protein bars with instant noodle sauce dip. Actually, we wanted to save the pasta sauce, but it was too dry for us. Other than that, we found out that all-purpose laundry detergent is not for body care, as we thought. My wife looked completely pale and was foaming. Fortunately, there is enough water at the moment, I was able to wash it off again. She thought it was quite good.


For breakfast today we had canned mushrooms on applesauce foam. Yum! We are currently worried about animals getting into the basement and bringing the virus with them. Therefore, we have foamed the basement windows with polyurethane hard foam. Now the air is a bit thick, but it is also warmer, after all, we only have central heating in the basement, but no radiators.

We have calculated that we can get by with our food for another three weeks, if we don't overdo it. Then we'll only have rice (with chowder).

My wife tried today if you can also kill viruses by spitting fire. It didn't quite work, but we now know that the exhalation speed must be greater than the ignition speed. My wife now has no hair, but I was fortunately able to put it out with two glasses of pasta sauce. The sight reminded me of a horror movie, but I forgot the name (the movie's, not my wife's).

I started to breed pill bugs. As a substitute if our food should ever run out, you know, just in case. At first I thought that there is really little to it. But my wife said that the fiber would also be important for digestion.


The air is really thinnnnnnn....

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